An Isaan style funeral
Dear Readers,
It’s been a very long time since I posted. I've been a a lazy man! I’ve been thinking about this post for a week or so. I am documenting the funeral of my wife’s aunt who passed away about 10 days ago. I am also using the funeral as a means of talking about the culture surrounding the various ceremonies. Let me be clear from the outset, this is NOT how all funerals in Thailand take place. My wife’s family is initially from the northeastern province of Isaan. Most of the rituals are most likely observed in some form in Isaan. Even in our small village, each funeral can be a bit different.
After a mercifully short time of illness, my wife’s aunt died at home. Out of respect for all, I am not posting any pictures or videos of her passing although I was present. In the few days leading up to her passing, most of her family arrived from all corners of Thailand. Some live in our village and some live a full day’s drive away. Local families shared their homes for those traveling from afar and some travelers stayed in other lodgings. We hosted one family for a night and some cousins for a couple of nights. Our yard became a convenient parking lot since my wife’s aunt’s home was just two doors down.
She had been in a hospital until the last few days when it was clear nothing could be done other than to ease her pain and allow her to be at home until the end. Her local daughters and grandchildren took turns being with her along with her living brothers and sisters. Shortly before she died, her local children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, brothers and sisters were all alerted and those not already there came quickly to her bedside. The time of passing was accurately noted and the traditional firecrackers were set off to mark the death. Shortly thereafter preparations began for the next few days.
Normally funerals take place over 6 days, but this is ‘Buddhist Lent’ and during this period funerals are limited to 5 days. Additionally a 7th night is often added during times not during "Buddhist Lent". The 7th night is a celebratory night often featuring special singers and dancers. If the funeral occurs during lent or the family cannot host this extra night, it must be held at a later date. Below is are a couple shots of an earlier funeral.
Preparations begin immediately. The casket is delivered as is the ‘cold box’. The cold box is a box that houses the casket and body during the 5-7 days of ritual. The platform for the monks is ordered and set up and tables and chairs for ‘guests’ are set up. More food is always needed and local people provide as much as possible. Other foods needed are purchased from the ‘big market’ in Wang Nam Yen (the closest ‘big city’) or the grocery store. In many cases a pig or cow is slaughtered to provide food and many people help butcher it. In this case it was a pig.
The monks from the local temple arrive and the ‘official’ funeral begins with chanting. Candles and incense are lit. At least one candle and one stick of incense must be kept burning for the duration until the deceased is moved to the temple for cremation. My wife’s aunt was one of the village ‘founders’. She died at 88 which is quite old for people in the village. A lifetime of hard backbreaking work and probably consumption of cancer causing chemicals used to control insect damage to crops contributes to early death here. She donated the huge amount of land where the temple exists and is well known and highly respected in and around our village. Thus the funeral drew many people each day. Funerals like this are not inexpensive and people who come give money to the bereaved family to help defray the costs.
Each night generally around 19:00 or 19:30 the monks come and do the ceremonial chanting. You can see the staffs that are held in front of them as they chant. The gold one is used by the ‘head monk’ or abbot. His chanting is directed at the living. These blue staffs are special for funerals and essentially are telling the dead not to come back and to sleep in peace. Each of the four staffs you see in my picture has a slightly different meaning but the gist is sleep forever in peace and don’t stay and haunt the living.
During the day, food is cooked and family and friends are fed. People who don’t see each other often mingle and enjoy each other’s company. After the monks leave, the gambling begins. It is illegal in Thailand, but during funerals, a little ‘tea money’ is passed and the local officials look the other way. Most of the games are for very low stakes so no one loses or wins so much that hard feelings are generated. Due to the illegality, I have no pics of this. This happens every day with only minor variation.
On the final day the body remains at the house, the monks come in the late morning and perform the final blessings. The casket is removed from the ‘cold box’ and loaded on a pickup truck. A long procession led by the truck goes to the temple for the cremation. The casket and body lead the way followed by monks. For this day, many male relatives shave their heads and become monks for one day. Some quite young and some in their 20s or 30s. After the male monks, female nuns dressed in white come followed by other family and friends. Note that a string is held by all the monks and nuns in the procession as well as other family and friends. Many people are also touching the casket. This is to help guide the deceased to the temple. At each corner, fireworks are set off to be sure the deceased knows to turn the corner. In Isaan culture, it is generally believed that the deceased cannot find the way by themselves. They are dead and cannot see. Often at the corners the casket is also tapped and perhaps some quiet words are said to help guide the deceased.
Once at the temple the procession walks around the crematorium three times before the casket is taken up the steps to be placed on a platform prior to being burned. At this point usually important people (village officials etc.) place various things on the casket one or two at a time. Then, often a family member speaks about the deceased. Afterward, people walk up to the platform and place flowers on the casket and tap it or say something if they choose. On the way down, they are given a small remembrance. At this point most people go home. Close family stays for the actual cremation and to view the body before it is burned. When the smoke comes out from the chimney, the ceremony is done and super loud fireworks are set off to mark the occasion.
That evening, people are again fed and monks come. Instead of gambling, it is karaoke time. Mercifully they finished at a reasonable hour. Throughout the 5 days a speaker truck is stationed on our land at the corner nearest the home of my wife’s aunt. It starts playing music between 5:15 and 5:30 each morning. For this funeral, the music was not the super loud bass heavy window rattling noise that both Thai and Vietnamese people seem to love. It was more subdued which in my western opinion is more appropriate. During the funeral, the music always finished by 22:00 fortunately. Karaoke night was no exception. Well, actually the music was louder with.. um… less professional singing. Fortunately it didn’t go late!
The final morning featured the monks coming again. This time the chanting message was meant for the living and the blue staffs were not in use. The tone was lighter and generally positive. As at any time, the monks eat first. People brought sticky rice to place in the monks’ baskets. This is ceremonial. Once that is finished and the chanting is done, the monks eat then the remaining people eat. Food is set aside for people to take home and some people go home and some stay on eating and conversing. It is a bittersweet time for families. Many people will not see each others for years after the funeral.
I hope you have enjoyed reading and seeing the pictures! I hope to not be so lazy in the future as I am far behind with my blogging!